Look at you. Collapsed on the floor eating chocolate. What is that? Is that hair? Are you eating chocolate covered in hair? No wonder everyone has gone. This is what you deserve. All you're fit to eat is hairy chocolate, you hairy chocolate eating fuck.

It's telling that the only task you're capable of exerting any energy to complete is eating chocolate. And what an ordeal it was. You stretched and strained with all your might, you were sweating buckets, all just to reach a square of chocolate. Was it worth it? Let's look at the positives and the negatives of this achievement:
1. You got to eat chocolate. Safe to say this is a positive. 
2. It was covered in hair. Definitely a negative.
3. The radio seems to be mocking you. Singing that song about getting up, very insensitive if you ask me. Though this isn't contingent on you getting the chocolate, we can assume the radio would play this song anyway, let's put it as a negative? Perhaps? Maybe? Pin that for now.
4. Shame. Pin that for now too.
5. You did something. That's always a positive. Especially now, when doing things is so hard.

 

What do you think? On balance, is this a positive experience or a negative one?